Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize
