Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
