I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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