There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
