I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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