whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
