I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
