I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
