Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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