where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
