I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
