Sober January is a disaster.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
