Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
