Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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