I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I FOUND THE LEGS
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
