College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
All I want is dick and wine.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
