4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
They should really pass out barf bags in church
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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