yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
