i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
