You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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