can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
