You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
