My brain says no but my pants say off.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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