..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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