Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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