weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
