i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
