5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
