You're a womanizer and a bitch.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
