So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
