i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
