I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
