Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
