So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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