My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
