i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
