I want to stick my p in your. b.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
