So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
