I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
