Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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