I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
