I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
