I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Me too!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
