If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
