Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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