I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
