so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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