why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
