just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you had me at cake vodka
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Pooping to opera.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
