I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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